I’m planning on telling you this story like I would if we were having pillow talk.
Because many times, this story has gradually grown and been told through pillow talk with some of my best friends. If you’re reading this you know exactly who you are.
When I met Josh I was tired, a little sick, had slapped a guy in the face the night before, , and I was dating someone else…. someone else who liked cats…. and didn’t eat meat….But I met Josh at Make Promises Happen, so in some ways he had an advantage, because girl, I had promised myself not to date/marry a man who couldn’t put others needs before his own, and Make Promises Happen holds my heart for the large group of volunteers there who do exactly that.
I had flirted all day with another guy, remember people, I’m setting this up for you, I wasn’t in the best place in my life. I remember after the campers had gone to sleep, after our counselor meeting when we all hang out and talk until super late hours of the night ,sitting across the table from Josh (who was “talking” (romantically) to someone else at the time) and he was eating Ranch Corn Nuts. He asked if I wanted some, (duh… I love corn nuts….) and handed me the bag, and kept his eyes locked with mine, trying to make conversation with me, looking at me like I was the only person in the room ( WHAT A FREAK… I was thinking… BUT… uh, why am I still looking?!)
I remember thinking, why is it so easy and fun to talk to this guy I just met? But I didn’t think anything more about it, because I had made mistakes in the past about guys I thought I had connections with that turned out bad bad bad.
This is where it gets weird, this is where God knows what he’s doing, this is where sometimes if I over think this, I start to tear up. ( Like right now)
Stay with me here,
That whole weekend, because the guy I had slapped in the face happened to be my current boyfriends best friend/roommate, I spent a lot of time on my phone trying to text the current boyfriend to apologize, called him to apologize, and didn’t get so much as a reply or call back. I broke up with him that Monday for his lack of willingness to work on this with me, or even acknowledge me for trying. ( I found out many months later that he never got a single text or a single missed call from that weekend. )
Because of my life situation, and my past life decisions I was done. Done with tirelessly and constantly searching for the love of my life, done with dating.
A friend of mine in high school had suggested I read a book called “When God Writes your Love Story” by Eric and Leslie Ludy. She might have even given it to me. That week I started reading it. I started going to bible study twice a week, church every Sunday, and when Josh asked me if I would go on a date with him, I said “No”.
He had gotten my number from a mutual friend, texted me for my birthday, called me with his friends to sing me happy birthday, and nonchalantly asked me to come visit him in Durant where he went to college. I couldn’t and wouldn’t yet, I was on a Thanksgiving trip to Tennessee where my Mom, Step Dad and brother lived. I flew there, and drove back with them, giving me lots of time to get into this book, and Josh lots of time to text me. I remember being somewhere between Tennessee and Oklahoma and getting the text from him asking me on a date. I remember blushing, I remember being so excited, I remember almost giggling out loud, then I remember saying no. I wanted someone to chase me, I wanted someone to know me before they dated me, I wanted someone who wanted God in our relationship. Instead of running away, Josh agreed to be my friend, agreed to get to know me, and we shared God together, running towards him.
Even now, I know that THIS is the rock of our relationship. This is why we work, this is the base. This is why when I am going to photograph a wedding I ask the couple if God is the rock of their relationship, if they can’t say yes, I can’t photograph their wedding. My purpose is to capture memories and moments that are going to last forever, if God isn’t the center of your relationship or marriage then the memories I capture and your marriage won’t last.
Josh and I were long distances apart, but we found ways to see each other, camps, him driving up with friends, and yes, he finally convinced me to come see him. I brought a friend who was talking to his friend, and we ran to Durant. ( Actually we drove, but we drove pretty fast). When we got to Durant we all decided to drive to Dallas for the day.
This is where is happened.
Just around December 14th 2009.
Josh and I had both had trouble in the past with being in the “make out with you and then don’t talk to you” group. So we decided not to kiss. Not to kiss until we were official? Not until we were together for 3 months? I don’t even remember what the until was, but we hadn’t kissed, we had been talking for a month, knowing we loved every thing we knew about each other and we hardly ever saw each other, and there we were, together in the back seat of our friends car, driving to Dallas, and they put on this song….
I knew it, and sang it to Josh, right into his hear, and right up near his lips, and we didn’t kiss.
I know Corny corny corn corn.
But we fell in love. Right then, right there. That was it.
Thank you E beck Kun Fart for playing that song. You helped seal the deal. This is what we looked like that day….
After that we had Christmas and New Years separately with our own families, and the next weekend he came to see me, and on my grandparents couch watching a movie… We became FBO. (facebook offical) ( He asked me to be his girlfriend)
I don’t remember the exact date, but I know we were in Lone Grove, parked at a gas station, and I said it first and it was 4 months after we were official.
We were in love people.
Meet my family, lets get a dog together love.
Though we still lived far apart, we made it work.
Then one week before Josh and I were going to camp, his mom asked me if I would take some photos of him for his graduation coming up…in 8 months…. She has always been an over planner so this didn’t surprise me. But it was cold and rainy that weekend not my favorite time to take photos… but Josh insisted.
So Sunday morning, I hadn’t showered, it was rainy, and I was wearing the oldest T shirt known to man kind, we went out to the pavilion to take photos of Josh. He had this funny idea to write on a white board “I’m broke and graduating, I need money” so we could send it out to people as a funny haha, but really, send me money…
And then I started getting uncomfortable
I had to… uh… #2…. and Josh and I have always been very open in our relationship about #2, and still are to this day.. So I let Josh know we needed to hurry through these photos… I also told him to draw a #2 on the white board with flies around it and I would take a photo of that for funny memories for us…. He took FOREVER to draw this doodle!… When he finally turned it around it didn’t have a #2 drawn, or flies, or anything relating to grossness, the sign said. ” Marry me?”
I had ruined it… I talked about #2 and he’s trying to be super romantic, I was so mad at myself.
That was what I was thinking.
I didn’t say anything, Josh started freaking out and I have never seen him more nervous
( he had a party planned after this there was NO way I couldn’t say YES!)
I noticed his nervousness and screamed YES!!! and hugged him and cried and said ” this WOULD be the way we got engaged”
We took some more photos, and went off in nervous bliss of a new step in life.
We, with the help of so many wonderful people planned our perfect wedding, at camp, in the heat of the Oklahoma summer we were so very blessed by friends and family who stood by our side, clapped , and prayed for our marriage.
This photo always makes me cry, it’s our very best friends praying over us, and you can see my Dad, and Josh’s mom’s heads. I just love it.
After we married this July, we moved to Checotah, Ok where Josh got a teaching/ coaching job. We have been told by many people that it’s one of the best things to do as a married couple, get away from what you know, and only have each other to lean on. I couldn’t agree more. If we were closer to my friends and family I might skip out on basketball games, or pick up another job, or spend more time at Starbucks.
What living in a small town away from everyone and everything has done, has brought us closer together. We entertain each other, we encourage each other, and we are involved in the community together.
I will tell you basketball season has been hard, my whole world has been flipped upside down. I have never been involved in sports, I have never been a wife, I have never not had at least 2 jobs to occupy my time with, I have never had to cook meals for someone else twice a day, or wash and fold someone else’s clothes….. I was used to being a girlfriend to a guy who drove 2 hours to see me and take me on dates and massage my hurting feet from working long shifts as a server, and answering the phone every time I called.
AKA a Princess.
I have been strong through it, but last night I had a break down. I cried ” like someone had just died” as Josh explained it. I was tired of feeling like I was doing all the work and wasn’t getting any help, I was physically tired of sitting on the back aching, butt numbing stands of 3-4 basketball games in a row 4 nights a week. Basketball started in November, and last night was my breaking point.
Again, God showed up.
Josh stood in the doorway of our bedroom looking at me as I sobbed with my head in the pillows on our bed, and he said this.
“Lindsey, I know it’s hard, and I know you’re tired. Believe me, I’m tired too, but it’s not about me, or you, or even us right now, it’s about those boys, and helping them succeed, to some of them, me and the head coach are the only Dad’s they have got, so you’ve got to realize that and hold out just a little longer”
So of course I sobbed some more, but this time I had a smile on my face, because I have married one of the most caring, loving, and hardworking men I know and I am so proud to be a part of his life as his wife and his support.
So as he walked out of the door to school/ practice this morning I told him to be good to the little black boys, and that I was proud of him. I ment it more than ever today.
Then ran in here to my computer to tell you all my love story, and how it grows and changes every day, and how God has a plan for you and is working itself out right now.
If my parents hadn’t divorced, my Dad would have never met my step mom. My step mom who owned a Salon where she did the hair of a lady, who needed help on a film crew and took me to camp….
If Josh would have made the basketball team at Southeasten he would have never met his friends who took him to camp, and never would have had time to come….
So think about the situations you might think are “bad” right now, they might be leading you to something wonderful and life changing.
I want to hear your love story, send it to me in an e-mail by 2-12-13 and the best love story will get a free photo shoot.
Thank you all for reading, please feel free to share this opportunity with others.
Have a great day